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Wednesday. 12.2.15 1:16 pm
As always, I find that it's most difficult to begin. Once I make myself log in, it's almost easy!

news. news.

So, to reiterate, I got dumped. That's been a journey. I like to think I'm dealing with things much better than the last few times I've been dumped (or rejected!) but honestly, who's to say? The most recent news on that front is that I just learned that homegirl is NOT interested in picking up a friendship. Sure, maybe some time in the future (after I move away lolol) but apparently not now. This befuddles me because:

!) We have literally dozens of dearly loved friends in common and we see each other roughly every weekend. At church. You know, unity in the body and all that.
!) You said (when you dumped me) you valued our friendship and that you wanted to be friends.
!) You told my friends (about two months ago) you were sad that we couldn't talk, that you would like to be friends again soon, etc.
!) Your friends have been telling me (this whole time) that the best way to consider you would be to make efforts to bridge the gap so we can be friends. (Now they maintain the opposite.) Such discrepancy. Wow.

I am dumbfounded. I am found dumb.

So obviously that's confusing, more than is apparent here, and hurtful. See how I switched to the second person up there? Yikes!

I'm planning a second tattoo. I have this really cool idea that combines math (golden ratio mostly, also with lots of circles and fractals!) and spirituality (I actually got the idea from reading John 17 where Jesus prays for unity between the disciples.) Basically it's about how everything is connected and the universe is founded upon the concept of relationships.

Since the concept is strongly mathematical, it's impossible for me to explore ideas by hand. So, I wrote a tiny bit of software in order to generate an image based on my idea. If that isn't geeky then I do not know what is. It looks something like this:

It needs a lot of work before it becomes anything resembling art, especially TATTOO art. But it's a good start.

Now the only problem is finding an artist with the right style to pull it off. I discovered David Hale yesterday and almost peed my pants in excitement because this man's stuff is gorgeous. But today I discovered that he doesn't accept appointments from new clients anymore. Sort of. He sends on about a dozen original designs once a month in a newsletter, and people have to pick from those. One customer per design. That disappointed me greatly because the dude is less than an hour away from me!

I'm thinking of exploring my thoughts on forgiveness here. Let me get back to you.

I don't know how I missed your post in August, but I'm sorry to hear that you got dumped. :( It sounds like a sucky situation... Very strange that she changed her mind about being friends.

Your tattoo prototype looks interesting, if a bit complicated. I hope you can find someone who can pull off the finished piece well!
» randomjunk on 2015-12-02 11:11:38

I like how you used exclamation points instead of numbers. It took me reading through a second time to realize that. Hopefully the awkwardness ends soon.

That tattoo idea, though in just the beginning stages, looks like it'll come out amazingly!
» LostSoul13 on 2015-12-05 12:44:55

Maybe you could send him your idea and what you have for a design, so far? I know a couple of tattoo artists who would respond crazy well to that because it's an interesting challenge in design and not just a new client who wants an anchor (no shade to people who get anchors, they're just a dime a dozen, nowadays, and I'm sure certain artists respect their work too much to do the same thing every day).

Anyway...weird that she switched it up, but she might just need space and acceptance, right now. I know being questioned about that stuff tends to cause a lot of people to draw further away. Being in the same group is always weird...hope that gets easier.
» Unicornasaurus on 2015-12-05 08:42:05

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