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Friday. 12.11.15 11:09 am
This is less dramatic/emotional and more story-telling.

I was considering the pros and cons of approaching homegirl and letting her know that I didn't feel great about the way she's been acting since the breakup. I'm not going to get into it anymore here because it isn't that important. Anyway, I was planning on maybe talking to her this weekend or even next week, but at our service on Wednesday she actually approached me and asked if we could talk afterwards. I was caught off guard, after ~3 months of silence.

It was a pretty minor conversation. She'd found out that I'd been hearing she wasn't interested in being friends, and she was pretty upset about it and decided to set the record straight herself. It's sort of a moot point now, since she just announced that she's moving to another state in a few weeks. But I still appreciate the thought. I took the chance to let her know that I wasn't feeling very well-considered, blah blah blah.

At one point she looked absolutely miserable, and the following occurred.

"You don't have to look so sad."

"Well I'm sorry, it just makes me sad that you're sad!"

I paused. I was not trying to garner pity or anything similar from her, and I certainly didn't want her to get the impression that I'm falling apart or anything, though of course I'm not exactly peachy either. The problem is she's extremely empathetic and emotional, whereas I'm so over-logical sometimes that I barely register my own emotions, much less those of the people around me. I tried briefly to explain that being sad isn't the worst thing in the world, that life is actually going pretty well for me, etc. None of it really sounded convincing and I didn't want to keep pursuing that line of thought, so I finished lamely, "Besides, I'm not really that sad."

Uh oh.

"Wait, I mean, at least not right now."

wait wait wait

"...you know, I'm just going to let that one go."

Thankfully she laughed a bit, but MAN that could have been a doozy.

Sounds like you cleared some things up, then?
» randomjunk on 2015-12-12 03:03:35

Oh MAN! I have been missing important stuff, clearly. Can I have the password for the Time Capsule entry?

I'm sad about this. It seemed like you guys were really into each other. : But, you know, fish in the sea and all that. I'm glad you could at least get some stuff straightened out before she moves away. And it kind of works out that she's moving away, too, so things don't have to be so awkward. Anyway, lame all around, but you're strong enough for it all.
» Zanzibar on 2015-12-16 02:24:04

haha. Yeah, I almost published this under my second Nutang account because I wrote it when I was in a mood that I'm not often in that isn't that consistent with my normal personality. :) But I've felt that way all the times that I've passed through Buenos Aires.
» Zanzibar on 2015-12-23 11:56:39

STEVO. I'm so out of the loop, man. Like, the fact that you ever had a girlfriend?? I must not be stalking you well enough on Facebook. How is your life??
» The-Muffin-Man on 2016-02-01 03:16:03

being sad makes you appreciate being happy even more. if you're never sad, how can you truly be happy?

hope life continues to go well for you!
» thaitanic on 2016-02-06 09:04:28

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