Alright, so, I opened a new shampoo bottle just now, and it's scented "Passion Fruit Smoothie." I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen a bottle trying to pass off a taste as a scent. Because that is obviously a taste! There should be no difference between the smell of the fruit and the smoothie, so it MUST be a taste reference!

In either case, it smells like plain shampoo.

I wonder how inappropriate it would be for me to pass out Mother's Day cards to some girls at school. I'm not close friends with any girls who are pregnant, so that little joke is out.

Saturday I'm driving down to Columbia to watch my brother's track meet there. It will be rad! As long as I don't die or get lost or something.

I've always told people that, in the event that I was about to die and there was no way around it, I'd prefer to jump out of airplane, over the ocean, stark naked. This is still true. I think that would be possibly the greatest way to die.

I had two days off of school for an English IB exam and a Calculus AP exam. I am fairly confident with the English...the math, on the other hand, left me wondering about life, the universe, and everything. It was awful. I was completely and utterly ill-prepared, which is mostly my fault but was aggravated slightly by my class and teacher. Parts of it were beyond my grasp simply because I didn't know how to handle certain numbers (in some cases I could even remember DOING the lesson, but no dice!) but at least I knew what it was asking almost all of the time. And I figured out some stuff on the spot, like deriving a semicircle!

But yeah, I got a pretty bad score on that.

Tonight I decided that I wanted to converse with people on facebook in all caps. Here are some highlights.

Me
HEY AJ
WHATS UP

11:20pmAJ
HELLO
NOTHING
LYING IN MY BED

11:20pmMe
KOOL KOOL

11:20pmAJ
LOLZ I KNOW

11:20pmMe
WHO DID YOU USE AS YOUR REFERENCE FOR YOUR LAUREL CREEK APPLICATION

11:20pmAJ
WHAT?

11:21pmMe
IT ASKS FOR TWO REFERENCES.
NO PARENTS OR EMPLOYERS

11:21pmAJ
I DID NOT HAVE TO EVEN FILL OUT AN APPLICATION I JUST CALLED UP THERE AND TOLD THEM I WANTED TO WORK HAHA

11:21pmMe
WTF

-------

Me
IS IT IMPORTANT

11:29pmAJ
what is

11:29pmMe
THE MEETING

11:29pmAJ
oh haha
yes we are cleaning and going over policies and what not
but i mean they wont tell you no because you missed it. clay wont be able to make it

11:30pmMe
CLAY BATES
THAT IS A QUESTION

11:30pmAJ
YES
hha

-------

Me
WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A SHOUTING CONVERSATION
IT IS CERTAINLY USEFUL FOR SPICING UP LIFE

11:31pmKatie
I GUESS
IT SEEMS LIKE AS GOOD A TIME AS EVER

11:33pmMe
IT IS FUN TO NOT USE PUNCTUATION EVEN WHEN IT IS INTEGRAL TO THE MEANING

11:33pmKatie
LIKE WHEN

11:34pmMe
LIKE WHEN AJ MENTIONED CLAY
AND I SAID CLAY BATES
BUT IT WAS A QUESTION NOT AN EXCLAMATINO
STRIKE THAT
EXCLAMATION
SO I HAD TO SAY THAT IS A QUESTION
ALSO
JUST NOW WHEN I WAS QUOTING MYSELF

-------

Katie
RULE ONE
NEVER ADMIT TO BEING UNCOOL
YOU JUST BROKE RULE ONE

11:42pmMe
I ADMITTED NO SUCH THING
I AM THE COOLEST CAT ON THE BLOCK

11:43pmKatie
YOU ARE NOT A CAT
I WOULD KNOW
BECAUSE I AM A CAT
CHECK IT OUT
MEOW
SEE THERE IT IS

11:43pmMe
THAT DOESN'T REALLY WORK IN CAPS

11:43pmKatie
NEITHER DOES YOUR MOM

11:43pmMe
IT IS AS IF A CAT IS BEING SURPRISED

11:43pmKatie
OH NO

11:43pmMe
OR RAPED IN AN ALLY

11:43pmKatie
YES I DID

11:43pmMe
WHICH I GUESS STILL FALLS UNDER THE FIRST INSTANCE

11:44pmKatie
YOU CAN IGNORE THE CRUDE COMMENT I MADE ABOUT YOUR MOM OKAY BUT MY CAT IMPRESSION IS GREAT

11:45pmMe
OMG
YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING OUT ON MY GOAT IMPRESSION
LET ME TELL YOU
IT IS BAAAAAD

11:45pmKatie
HOLY SHITE
YOU JUST MADE ME LAUGH

11:46pmMe
FOR REAL THAT IS PRETTY NEAT

11:46pmKatie
YES FOR REAL
I HAVE NOT LAUGHED IN A LONG TIME WHILE TALKING TO YOU
BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL GIRL DRAMA
HEHE GIRL DRAMA
HEHE

11:46pmMe
I AM NOT ALL GIRL DRAMA
I DO NOT THINK I HAVE MENTIONED GIRLS FOR A LONG TIME

11:47pmKatie
YOU ARE ALSO FIVE PERCENT WATER

11:47pmMe
PRETTY SURE IT IS MORE THAN THAT

11:47pmKatie
NOT WITH ALL THAT GIRL DRAMA YOU ARE PACKING
IT'S LIKE DRINKING ALCOHOL
IF YOU HAD A .95 BLOOD GIRL LEVEL I WOULD BELIEVE IT
I'VE BEEN HOLDING DOWN SHIFT THIS WHOLE TIME INSTEAD OF CAPS LOCKING WTF

11:49pmMe
I AM STILL WONDERING WHAT IS THIS DRAMA YOU SPEAK OF.
OH DAMN A PERIOD

------

Me
MAN
SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THE GIRL DRAMA
I HONESTLY THINK YOU SAY THESE THINGS JUST TO RILE ME UP

12:10amKatie
YOU'RE ALL WOMEN BE HATEN ON MEEE

12:10amMe
REMEMBER HOW PARANOID I AM.

12:10amKatie
HOLY CRAP IT'S A PERIOD

12:10amMe
THAT IS NOT TRUE BECAUSE THAT IS NOT TRUE
WOMEN LOVE ME
ASK THEM

12:10amKatie
WOMEN HATE YOU
HEARTHEART

12:11amMe
AWW MAN THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A QUESTION TOO

-----

Ryan
esteven.

11:41pmMe
HEY RYAN I AM HAVING SHOUTING CONVERSATIONS WITH KATIE AND AJ

11:41pmRyan
I have an application on my mac desktop that allows me to look at every issue of science magazine, EVER

11:41pmMe
IT IS QUITE INVIGORATING

11:41pmRyan
starting with 1880.

11:42pmMe
I LIKE MY STORY BETTER

------

Ryan
do...do you need some water?
you sound like you're getting hoarse.

11:46pmMe
I JUST MADE KATIE LAUGH
SO I AM ON A ROLL

11:46pmRyan
man.

11:46pmMe
LET ME TELL YOU WHAT I TOLD HER
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CATS

11:46pmRyan
i really wish you had replied to my comment wiht
naaaahhhhhhhaahahahah (neighing like a horse)
oh man
wait, which katie
i know LOTS of katies
LOTS OF KATIES YOU HEAR

11:47pmMe
ANYWAY
WE WERE TALKING ABOUT CATS
AND SHE SAID MEOW

11:47pmRyan
way to not answer my question.

11:47pmMe
AND I TOLD HER THAT MEOWING DOES NOT REALLY WORK IN ALL CAPS

11:47pmRyan
that wasnt even a skillful dodge.
YOU LIE OF COURSE THEY DO

11:48pmMe
WHO NEEDS SUBTLETY WHEN YOU CAN TYPE LIKE THIS

11:48pmRyan
MEOW MOTHERFUCKER

------

Ryan
hahahaha
well. i have exams in the morning.
so, sleep well steve.
try not to yell in your sleep.

12:01amMe
WHY WOULD I TRY THAT
IF I CAN YELL IN MY SLEEP I WILL TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF IT

12:01amRyan
did you consider that it might not be voluntray?
ha. voluntary

12:02amMe
IT IS LIKE THE CLASSIC LIBRARY MISSPELLING
BUT BACKWARDS

12:02amRyan
......
goodnight, one of the overflexed lungs and vocal chords.


Oh man. This is actually a lot of fun.

EDIT!

I have been using the straight-faced awkward approach a LOT lately. Talking about sex in youth group, for example. Now, to be clear, nobody in my youth group believes that sex itself is bad or taboo or anything. So certain discussions are allowed and even encouraged. But it's still sort of awkward, especially when both genders are present and we're talking about breast reductions.

Also, I was looking up the KIN phone today in school (apparently an awful phone) and some kid kept making jokes that I was looking up Ken from Barbie. He asked, "What were you and Ken doing last night?"

I looked him right in the eye and said, "Masturbating."

...so if anyone's wondering about my part in the current shoutbox conversation...yeah.

"WOMEN LOVE ME
ASK THEM"

Definitely my favorite part.
» randomjunk on 2010-05-07 12:35:39

HOLY SHIT WHAT IS GOING ON...? I HAVE BEGUN SHOUTING AND CANNOT STOP...? I HAVE ALSO SCANNED THROUGH YOUR ENTIRE NOVELLA OF FB CONVERSATIONS WTFHAX???

LOL U SAID MASTURBATE.

ALSO, TELL RYAN THAT I AM NOT AN INTERNET SUPREMECIST BECAUSE HE PROBABLY WON'T BELIEVE ME.
» The-Muffin-Man on 2010-05-07 12:54:06

everytime someone does something in all caps on facebook, i just reply with:

WHY ARE YOU YELLING

i was yelling in my head the whole time i was reading those conversations, and the voice in my head is now exhausted.
» thaitanic on 2010-05-07 08:39:51

When I clicked on this entry I thought you would expound more on an actual smoothie you tried :-P. Heheh.
» Mockiller on 2010-05-09 10:37:13

Indeed, Butt Naked. 'Twas a cheap perfume substance I purchased at a dollar store.
» randomjunk on 2010-05-09 05:43:18

Hard to say... but not what I would expect "Butt Naked" to smell like. Kinda fruity I guess. I wrote an entry on some of the different... scents... available... Dunno where it is, but I remember they also had "Pussy", "Black Woman", and "Marijuana".
» randomjunk on 2010-05-09 11:10:45

Yes, it has been brought to their attention.
» randomjunk on 2010-05-11 11:53:15

Nah, it wasn't like that... by the time I started having serious second thoughts we'd already paid for everything and it was getting too close to the start of school for me to change anything, so I decided to just stick it out for the year.
» randomjunk on 2010-05-11 12:07:12

A smoothie would totally smell different. And DAMN, that was long.
» lyndeep on 2010-05-13 08:39:39

I always thought that if i was going to die i would get on a tour plane in venezuela and go to angel falls and jump out and die......


thank you pixar for my death idea :p
» Ruby-in-slippers on 2010-05-15 07:48:30

lol Pixar's "UP" has a waterfall in it called Paradise falls is actually based on a waterfall called Angel falls in Venezuela.
» Ruby-in-slippers on 2010-05-20 05:20:36

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» Vincenzo (60.217.232.41) on 2010-08-28 08:48:12

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