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Game On
Tuesday. 11.30.10 10:45 pm
It's crazy! I see ONE cute girl on a bus and all of a sudden they start popping up all over the place. Sheesh.

I am doing sub-par in my classes. It's official: my first semester is going to be a major let-down for my mom. What's really frustrating is that there is this girl that I was semi-interested in, and she's completely trashing my grades. She HATES Computer Science class and she complains about it all the time, then goes and gets a 96 on a test.

I got a 78. Does she know the material better than I? Certainly not. She spends half her week getting help from the teacher assistants. Let's look at what I got off:

4 points for an extra comma by accident

8 points from when I thought I found an error in the sample code and changed two answers to "Error". Turns out that in that specific context the technicality does not, in fact, return an error. I had the right answers before I changed them. Technically my fault, but supremely suspicious regarding the test makers.

4 points that I totally deserved to lose

6 more points for trying something I didn't fully understand (I guess I deserve half of that, but the other half was just a consequence of the first half being wrong).

I guess they're more interested in grading people based on their typing prowess than on understanding. And trick questions are friggin' lame. Bah and Humbug. What's weird is that I'm the one who always runs into trouble on the homework assignments, while most people seem to completely miss the trouble. One time they gave us the wrong source image, and I was one of the only people who noticed it because I'm one of the only ones who downloads the homework in a zip file instead individually (they didn't update the zip file's data).

I also am falling behind in Calc and Chem. Sometimes I feel like I have absolutely no idea what's going on. It's a very hopeless feeling. This week has been better, but I'm still playing Catch Up for a test tomorrow.

I don't know what to do. I can't concentrate on work long enough to study or practice, and sometimes I even have trouble buckling down to do graded work. I'm super inefficient, and partially apathetic.

To top it off I am surrounded by people who are driven, effecient, and just generally hard-working. I feel like trash.

Obviously, I haven't really found my niche here at Tech. I don't have the network that I had at home; all I have is some friends and my computer. It's the only way for me to stay connected with the people I REALLY talk to.

I've taken up journaling again in an attempt to curb my random outbursts, since they aren't appreciated here, and give me a way to vent since it's harder for me to vent to my friends. It seems to be working so far, when I actually think to write stuff down. The biggest problem is my fear that people are reading over my shoulder, especially if I'm venting. ESPECIALLY if I'm venting about them. Ha.


OK, tangent time. I am somewhat peeved that some of the people here ignore my comments. It's perfectly understandable if they don't want to read/feedback on my blog, but is it so crazy an idea that one replies to a comment? Obviously sometimes we all say things that just don't warrant a reply, but it seems if I say something disagreeable people just tend to ignore it. Like they're being mature by avoiding conflict. You know how you keep the peace in those situations? Say that you're not interested in the discussion. Don't just leave the comment hanging in space. I've been dealing with the cold shoulder in various situations for months now, and I'm just tired of it. Just 'cause you're on the internet doesn't mean you just snub people for whatever reason.

This runs into the feelings of frustration that come from being looked down upon by my peers here at Tech, as well. My roommate is a partial offender in that sense. I'm too laid back for these people. And there are definitely not enough available, promising girls. :P

Welllllll I'm going to try and get a lot of work done now...catch ya'll later.

I guess I can see how the other points you missed might be justifiable, but 4 off for an accidental comma seems kind of excessive. :/

And there are people on here ignoring your comments? D: I'm not one of them, am I?
» randomjunk on 2010-11-30 11:12:27

One misplaced comma at work (as a code writer) could cost you hours. The teacher's intention may have been to simply remind you that accuracy is key.
I suppose you also won't make that mistake again.

Maybe you should branch off from the people you're around. I'm sure you can find the group that's meant for you with some time and patience.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-01 07:26:11

If you're talking about me, that's my bad. I actually responded to your comment by editing my original post (because it was a long response and I didn't want to clog up your comments). I just forgot to comment you that I replied that way.

So sorry. Please to forgive.
» Praetorian on 2010-12-02 08:48:24

re: HEEEY so I'm talking to you online, so I'm thinking that this balances out the fact that my reply has nothing to do with what you said.

» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-03 02:21:16

my dad has a bachelor's' in CS. Type A personality...that is probably what your instructor has...everything has to be perfect. that's why i would never be good at CS...too much math! the only numbers i like are on a deck of cards!
» hallie-mae on 2010-12-05 01:10:41

Boobs help in CS. Sometimes. Other times they're a pain. :(

Also, I fixed the food-face link.
» ikimashokie on 2010-12-05 09:55:43

Also, it gets better. Calc is rough if you didn't have it in high school. Mostly because of the fast pace and assumption that everyone has had calc. What bit me was having to actually do the homework. I'd gotten used to not doing any math homework in high school, calc EVERY night was rough, especially since hs math was so lax. Get help, it helps. Use it as an excuse to hang out with cute girl, who decides CS isn't for her, and then drops off the face of the earth.

If all else fails, take your calc/chem as summer classes at your local community college and transfer them over. I've known many people to do that so not to have the one teacher that teaches a class horribly.
» ikimashokie on 2010-12-05 10:03:05

re: Actually, it tells us to jet ski, then kayak.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-07 09:11:22

re: My mom's house is less than two blocks away. It'll take like 15 minutes. Good exercise!
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-07 09:28:11

re: You'll learn to love it. :P
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-12-07 09:45:44

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